good morning Muesli, how nice to meet you.

Over 72 hours without using the internet, my phone OR a T.V! Many of you thought I could not do it, and I too thought it could not be done. But hurrah, accomplishment! So this must be what it feels like to actually do something with your life... I have accomplished something... I feel like Chris Hickey.

I did not sleep more than an hour on the plane, thanks to the snot nosed brat behind me kicking my chair. Yeah, cheers to the parents who tried awfully hard to stop her. "I think you might be bothering the man in front of you, sweetheart."
OH REALLY, do you think that do you? How God damn wise you are. 'Cause for a while there, I assumed you thought I was having the time of my life, the way you laughed everytime her foot came into contact with the back of my seat. GREAT PARENTING. Top stuff guys, really. I AM GLAD YOU BRED.

Sweet lord I watched a lot of movies on that trip. I think it totalled up to 9? Most of them were average. Here we go:
He's just not that into you: OH MY GOD, I actually preferred the little brat kicking the back of my chair. If it wasn't for the undying love I have for Jennifer Aniston and Drew Barrymore, I may have actually killed myself.
Wolverine: Single-handedly destroyed one of the coolest comic book characters.
Push: OK, I don't care what you say - THIS MOVIE WAS SO RAD!!!!!!! It may have been because I had just sat through 3 or 4 average movies, but I watched this movie twice. Dakota Fanning playing a badass who dresses like a street worker was a pretty big laugh, but yeah thought it was rad. Seriously worth checking out, they all have like rad powers and kill people and try to find a briefcase and that COOL AS black guy from Blood Diamond is evil in it.

The other movies showing were: 17 Again [my penis shrivelled up and died, it was that awful], Ghost's of Girlfriend's Past [why did I think a Matthew McConaghey movie would be watchable?] Star Trek [OK, pretty cool.] plus THE BOAT THAT ROCKED!!!!!!! AKA one of the greatest movies of all time. IT'S JUST SO COOL.

Ok enough with the movie reviews, so I land in Heathrow [after a brief and disappointing stop in Dubai] and realize all those who boarded the plane in Brisbane have to wait til the very end to collect our luggage. So that was fun.. then off to find Uncle Mike who drove me back to Crowthorne, Berkshire [an oldschool village which is about as British as they come] where we entered their unbelievably rad house/mini mansion with the coolest garden. Jacks/Jackie/Jacqueline was there to greet me and make tea - the first cup of tea I drank in England, might I had - and I was shown my room.

It still had not hit me that I was in England, as I had heard Mike and Jacks' accents on numerous occasions, so this was nothing new - though it was fantastic to see them again and have an actual conversation.

Walking down to High St, not the London one, the Berkshire one, I could genuinely not stop smiling. Looking at all the English mansions which had been there for decades, and passing couples and groups who ALL had British accents [it wa sstrating to sink in] was great. I found a cool supermarket, and wandered in just to look around. And yes, the rumours are true.

ALCOHOL IN THE SUPERMARKET.

RIGHT next to the Ice-cream. I cried. Well, almost. I almost cried because I knew one day I would return to Australia where this is horribly illegal [not the crying, the alcohol in the supermarkets], and I knew I would have to make the most of the alcohol being available in supermarkets while I could.

Dinner came around at 9:15pm, lamb and salad with Italian red wine. 9:15 was still kind of light, probably equal to 5:30pm Brisbane light at the moment. Dinner was in the Dining Room and Conservatory, and I looked around for Colonel Mustard, Miss Scarlet and the candlestick. I tried as hard as I could to be as classy as Mike and Jacks. FAIL. I poured too much chili vinegar on my salad and wheezed the whole way through dinner, though hopefully they did not notice.. We polished off 2 bottles of wine, then it was into the living room for supper. That's right, I had SUPPER. I was well on my way to being a Brit. Hurrah!!

Day 2: Breakfast served at perfect time of 10:30 so I can enjoy a fantastic sleep in. Here is where I met the love of my life - MUESLI. I could not believe they had finally found a way to eat nuts at breakfast [no sexual inuendo intended] without looking odd. I was ecstatic. I was never going to need any other cereal ever again. Then off to Sandhurst, then Workingham with Mike. We walked around the town and picked up a lot of information on bus and train times, so that I will be well prepared when I head into London this coming week.

Since my first attempt at "trying something new" was a success with the Muesli, I wandered on down to Tesco's [holy shit I wish I lived in this place. SO CHEAP.] and bought myself a Dr. Pepper. One sip and I almost threw up. It would have been so loud that Petey Barkham would be in Brisbane somewhere assuming Drames was at it again, but he would have been wrong.

Another fancy dinner that night, 2 bottles of Italian white wine followed by French Brandy [I struggled] at 1:00 in the morning. I was almost classy. If it wasn't for the giant stains on the white jumper I was wearing, and the fact that I had forgotten a brush so my hair resembled that of Medusa.

There we go, another update as promised. Off to Wellington College and Windsor Castle & Park today, then Reading tomorrow [where the Reading festival is obviously held] as Jacks is a lecturer at the university there and wishes to give me a tour of the campus. Then into town to check it all out. London I think will be on Wednesday to meet up with Hannah, then Amsterdam on Saturday.

I apologize this one was so long and boring, but I do not have time to reply to everybody's e-mails so this just explains what I have been up to. The next one's will be far more interesting, I swear.

I hope at least one of you is reading this with a Super Dry next to you, as I am already greatly missing the crisp taste.

JAMES.